How to be unique? (even when you don't feel special)

personal development Oct 13, 2020

How to be unique? We had this great question yesterday in our #10xSpeaker group coaching call. Here is an answer that may help you become more unique, differentiated and stand-out from the crowd so that you are noticed and valued for who you are, especially if you don't feel very special.

Be yourself. It’s the only person you can truly be and the only person no one else can be.

It sounds so simple and obvious but it’s not easy and takes considerable courage and considerable risk because what if they don’t like you for who you are? What if you no longer fit in when being yourself? Will you be able to deal this that? What will it do to your ego? Your identity? The path to being yourself can be risky business and cause considerable friction along the way, but in the end, you will be better for it and others will respect you more.

Here are 5 simple guiding principles I use to be myself as often as I can, even if I don't feel very special. These principles are grounded, proven and will work for you. You may need to customise them to work for you and maybe even add to them.

  1. Do you. Know who you are and who you want to be known for. Your personal brand. Your identity, values, beliefs and principles. But remember: "On matters of style swim with the current. On matters of principle stand like a rock."
  2. Be kind. Be kind to yourself and others. Kindness is a trait that is highly rewarded especially in hard times. It begets happiness and joy and is a powerful attractive force that trumps almost everything else. It will help you deal with the friction you will encounter along the way.
  3. Know what you want. Knowing what you want gives you purpose and meaning and helps you to focus, so that you make the right progress. It's one of the hardest things to know and get clarity on. It's your burning desire. It's what drives you and energises you. It's your fuel. So know what you want.
  4. Be flexible. You are not alone and getting to your destination to reach your goals requires others. Be flexible and accommodate them, their needs and wants. Remember they are just like you suffering from very simulate challenges.
  5. Be courageous. Being yourself is not easy and takes a lot of courage. Courage is a strong leadership trait and one that commands a lot of respect from others, which in turn gives them courage to be themselves and become better leaders. When you command respect which can be earned through courage, you earn trust and don't need control over others because the trust and the respect will command attention and influence.

So be courageous, do you, be kind, know what you want and be flexible along the way. These guiding principles will help you become unique and in time, your true authentic self.

What has helped you in your quest to being unique? How do you just be yourself? What guiding principles have worked for you?

Do you have a question? Join us in our 10xSpeaker group coaching calls every Monday (they are free and open to all 10xSpeaker registered members). Just signup at and take the free 10xSpeaker online course and when you are ready, join our free open group coaching calls to ask your questions and share your story.

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